Hey you all, I know this is a blog about music but i want to share moments of inspiration in my life to help others. And I declare this year as another year of continued renewal not only for myself but for others who wants things to be refreshed in their lives. As I reflect back on last two years in particular, I have gone through alot of changes spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically. God has renewed so many things in my life but I can admit I have had my struggles with self image & weight all my life, life period. I do remember those times when I felt depressed and the battle was raging in my mind with constant thoughts lingering like “I’m too fat”, “I’ve gained so much weight” and can’t lose it”, “I’m going on a diet”, “I’m gonna lose weight this year”. I even got to a point where I wanted to die. That final thought where everything in my life was going wrong, and rock bottom is where I landed, that unwanted reservation in the valley. I call those “valley experiences’ and they became so long and hard.” The devil heard my request and literally tried to take me out on several occasions. My body, mind, and soul were technically dead & I was clinging to life. But a trip to Georgia changed all of that. The preacher from a small church there,which I do not know his name or remember his face at all, spoke a word into my life after I was done singing. That moment was so life changing. Everything that he spoke came to pass….From that point on, my mind was in another place. And almost 13 years later, it has remained intact to what he spoke into my life. My life was totally renewed and I continue on that journey even now to keep it fixated on being and staying ‘whole’ daily. My focus was turned off to what “society” had me thinking in my mind of wanting to be and look like. A little airbrush here, retouching there, and you are a perfect picture image in a magazine or whatever outlet but that is not reality. There are scars, blemishes, big noses, not so perfect smiles, big hips, many imperfections that make up the world. The awesome thing about it is that God made all of us the way He wanted us to be. This world would be such a bore if everybody looked the same. We are beautifully and wonderful made. So keep reminding yourself that God did an awesome job creating you and He loves you for you and that’s all that matters.
As I prepared for Stellar Award weekend this time, I looked back at where I was last year and had a wow moment. Any person who has never dealt with a weight problem can never comprehend the struggles. So when I see those people who are suffering from obesity,that young man, woman, or child, I understand and I sympathize. I will never put my mouth on them to judge because I know how hard it is to get it off. It is so easy to put it on and a whirlwind of a struggle to get it off and keep it off. I am down another 20 pounds and counting. The pictures I have from last year give me a hope to ‘not diet’ in my mind but be able to enjoy going out and doing things in moderation. I am also inspired by those sharing their journeys as well, Darwin Hobbs and his wife Traci, along with Latice Pace. Their stories have been instrumental to my life. I hope that my journey continues to be a blessed and will inspire somebody.
I leave you with a beautiful scripture: Psalms 139:14 “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well”
No matter what, you are beautiful, God bless you………….
Until next time,